


The Fear Of The Wait

by RedXD



Category: AOP - Fandom, Actually Odd Plan, DanPlan
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hi im tired, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I’m sad, Military Hosuh, Scared Stephen, Short, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23732086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedXD/pseuds/RedXD
Summary: Hosuh is gone for mandatory military work.Stephen isn’t scared... he just misses his friend.
Relationships: Hosuh Lee & Stephen Ng, Hosuh Lee/Stephen Ng
Comments: 4
Kudos: 54





	The Fear Of The Wait

**Author's Note:**

> Hi mates
> 
> Im not at all
> 
> Missing my hosuh content nope not at all i don’t miss le boi
> 
> TnT even dan is back but jay and hosuh are just gone tm
> 
> Im sad

Stephen takes a deep breath.

It's been so long since he's heard Hosuh's voice.

The lack of it makes his stomach churn.

He misses the laughter.

He misses his friend. Hosuh.

Of course there's nothing Hosuh could do about the military.

That doesn't change the hole in his chest at the boy's presence being gone.

He wishes he could build a time machine and go back. He wishes he could've done more. He wishes he could have more time.

It's not likely Hosuh will lose his life.

But every night Stephen watches a formally dressed man arrive at his door to tell him Hosuh is dead. Then he wakes up, drenched in sweat with tears filling his eyes.

Gavin probably knows. He's not an idiot.

Stephen still refuses to acknowledge his fear outloud.

He isn't scared. He just... misses his friend.

—-

It's been a year.

A year without Hosuh's voice and smiles.

Stephen struggles to even remember nowadays. In movies and books they always make it seem so easy to move past fear.

It isn't.

The nightmares haven't stopped.

Every night.

Always the same.

The eyebags under his eyes are massive.

Gavin asked him the other day about it. Gavin had been keeping quiet for so long.

Stephen said nothing was wrong. Gavin probably didn't believe him.

Or maybe he did. Stephen is an incredible liar.

Either way, he isn't scared. He just.... misses his friend.

—

It was a different dream this time.

Hosuh was at the door instead.

Alive.

But he didn't look like the Hosuh Stephen remembers.

Dream Hosuh had scars lining his every muscle and feature. His face was in tatters. His smile was forced and in pain.

Stephen's dream felt so long. So long..

Dream Hosuh cried every night. Dream Hosuh couldn't live happily. Dream Hosuh still died at the end of the dream. But not the usual way.

He swears that the tanned rope looked so real. Something about the tint of the noose and the way his head rolled back. His smile was so pained even in death.

...

Stephen fears more than one outcome now.

No matter what happens, he isn't going to get his Hosuh back is he? Not the Hosuh he loves and not the Hosuh that'll keep on living.

A dead Hosuh... or a Broken Hosuh.

He's decided to stop sleeping.

—

Gavin put sleeping pills in his drink again.

Stephen doesn't dream anymore. All he sees is a dark abyss before he wakes up.

It's been 20 months.

4 more months.

4 more months before he feels his world shatter.

He doesn't feel excited.

—

Tomorrow morning.

Hosuh returns tomorrow morning.

Stephen can't sleep. He doesn't plan to.

He just stares at the door.

I don't want him to be dead. But I don't want him to be sad.

I just want.... the Hosuh that I'm in love with.

For the first time... he feels himself admitting it aloud...

The words fall out of his mouth in a messy mutter. He doesn't even realize at first that he actually said it.

"I love him."

He isn't scared...

He's terrified.

—

The doorbell rings.

Gavin stands up in a rush and opens the door. Stephen can't find it in himself to even look.

Fear gropes him, gripping his shoulders.

Then... he hears his voice.

Cheerful.... happy... alive.

Hosuh..

"Hey Gavin, been a while hasn't it? Where's Stephen?"

Stephen feels his eyes water.

He doesn't sound pained.... he isn't dead... but... but...

Footsteps.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

His heart.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

His mind.

How.. why... please..

Strong arms wrap around him.

Warmth. Familiar warmth.

"Hey Stephen, I missed you."

Thank god you're okay.

Stephen didn't have another bad dream.


End file.
